I realize that my blog is titled "Can I get you a drink?" I feel as if I should clarify where I got that title before i get to far along. The title is in reference to something my dad would always say whenever my sisters or i would bring a guy over, or really anyone who ever entered our house. he loved everyone and always made them feel welcome. however, this next segment is not about making people feel welcome, it's about the funny/stupid/annoying/painfully annoying/idiotic things people do while waiting for a drink at the bar or while ordering/paying for their drink. please do enjoy....
guy: can i get my tab?
me: yeah what's the last name on it?
guy: it's the one with the smiley face on it.
(i look at him with a "really? are you that fucking stupid to think i'm going to search through over 60 cards looking for your smiley face card mr. name i still don't know... but instead i say, with sterness)
me:really? i need a last name?(i want to punch him in the face a little, but then it turned out that he tipped really super well, so i forgave his silliness.)
girl:(pounding on bar when i'm seriously beyond busy) i've been waiting for over 30 minutes for a drink.
me:(i want to say, really have you been timing it? if so, let's see how long it takes for you to give up and go away. but i was really super busy so instead i just ignored her. i still don't know if she got her drink and i super don't care.)
me: do you want to just leave it open, there's a $10 limit on cards?
guy: no, go ahead and run it.
me: you're only at $6 dollars, i can't run it. not my rule sorry.
guy: no, run it, it's cool.
me: no, really i can't. and won't. buy a shot or something.
guy: can you just run my card?
me:(this is where i roll my eyes and walk away)
so, there are a ton more stories to tell, most probably better than these but i've worked 25 hours in 2 days with less than 6 hours sleep so i'll call this a to be continued...........
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2 comments:
What i reeeeaally love is when people say to me "we need more salsa" and then repeat it to me after I'm done giving them their food. Um... did you see me leave the table? I'm sorry, I didn't bring my go-go-gadget arm to work today and can't get you more salsa while I'm STANDING AT YOUR TABLE STILL! Ugh...
I feel better. :)
The one that I had to stop myself from committing homocide on more times than I can count is...
Me: Hello, how is everyone tonight? (because god forbid i say how are you all, or how are you guys, or some veriation that is not pc.)
Ass at the table: I want a Diet Coke.
Me(in my head): I could give a fuck about your diet coke. I asked you a question, i don't care how bad your day was acknowledge the fact that i asked you a question and it wasn't what do you want to drink.
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