First thing, I'm back! At least for tonight. At this point I think we all know I'm full of shit when I say that it'll only be a week or so before I blog again. More on that in a moment. Second! I have a fan in Alaska!!!!!!! This is some of the best news ever! I have never been to Alaska but it is one of my top 3 places I need to see within the next 5 years! (Next 5 yrs. Get it ;) ) But, honestly, I love Alaska, or at least the idea of it. "Into the Wild" is one of my all time favorite reads and it really had a much more profound effect on me then I ever would have thought. Need to get to Alaska!

Anyway, sooooo, ummmmm. hi. It's been awhile, And while that is totally my fault I do hope that you will let me explain. Excuse #1 is that summer ended (along with my insomnia. turns out all I needed was to get on a regular sleep schedule and be horribly exhausted everyday.) and my social life and schedule took a steep dive to the negative numbers. Suddenly, I had to go to bed at a resonable hour, even on Fridays when I usually blogged because I was too tired to keep my eyes open let alone complete a full sentence/thought. I prefer to blog at the end of the night with a glass or two of wine already coursing through my veins. It's when I'm most open and honest and sarcastic towards life. Excuse's #2 through sideways 8 (infinity) basically continue with the theme of Excuse #1. Honestly, this is the first Friday night I've felt like I could really blog in months! AND OH BOY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY! Alas, I did not jot down all the good stuff that has happened like I swore I would. Ha. Seriously, who is surprised! I have run into a variety of people in the last month or so that tell me that they read my blog and miss it. More than anything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Thank you all so much for reading this. As random as I post I really do appreciate all the views I get. Which is way the F#%& more then I originally thought! So, also thanks for passing this on to other people and for checking back regularly. I hope to find a stride and sleeping schedule that will let me get back on track somewhat, but I hope you have learned not to hold your breath because that would just be irresponsible of you.

So, where do I begin from here. Current status, single and loving it but ready to start dating again. Must be at least 27 to submit an application. Also, good-looking(do I really have to tell you men that), funny, more importantly-think I'm funny. Be cool. Let me rant my rants because once they are out of my system I'm good. Do not try and stop me mid-rant and tell me I need to chill/relax, chilax! because I'm trying to do that by venting to someone. Sheesh. This is why I love drinking and kids are nowhere near my forseeable future. Other status stuff: still working as a Para in 'Hickville' USA. Pretty sure I am only one of two Liberals out there, which is an astounding percentage for the size of the place. I have not killed a student yet but have definitely walked up to that line and stared it in its dirty dirty face. What's that saying about one or two rotton apples? Mine are the rottenest, but there are a few that I really enjoy and can hopefully start pushing my Liberal agenda on. MMWHAHAHAHA!!! Just (mostly) kidding. :)

Other status stuff.....I have basically not had much of a life the last month or two ish because of some serious budgeting. Another reason for the lack of blogging. I work, come home and knit, and go to bed. Compared to those of you with kids my life is still exceedingly better. Obviously. How could it possibly not be. ;) But for those of you who have managed to carry on having a life the last month or two, well played. I will however have you know that I am back in the game, at least until I get too tired or have to get caught up on knitting orders. Which is like always! Hooray!

Ok, that's about all I can muster for this evening. I know it wasn't the greatest blog but I hope you will read it as a good faith effort that I have not forgotten about you and that I will make every attempt to blog every chance I get!

Look forward to a strongly worded blog on how everyone not named 'Camille' SUCKS at driving and a tutorial to go along with it. Till then, whenever it may be, always remember this; when diagramming sentences the first 9 steps are:
1. Look for preprositional phrases
2. Look for your being/helping/sensory verbs
3. Look for your action verb
4. Find your subject by asking 'who' or 'what' then the verb
5. Look for a complement. This may be a Direct object, predicate nomnitive, or predicate adjetive. Say your subject + verb and ask 'who' or 'what'
6. If you have a DO then you need to look for an Indirect object. Say your subject + verb + DO and ask 'to whom' or 'for whom'
7. Look for an Objective complete. This is a waste of time. Continue to step 8
8. Look for Direct Address. If you can't figure out that someone is talking to someone else then you need to be slapped in the face.
9. Look for an Appositive. Who the shit cares at this point. I was lucky to get them through the first 5 steps. That's more than enough for anyone. ANYONE I TELL YOU.
10. Step ten is to start reading books by John Hodgman. He's the PC guy from the commercials, and wildly hilarious. His influence is WHY I USED SO MANY CAPITAL LETTERS IN THIS BLOG!
11. There is no further step, I just felt that in case you didn't believe me this is seriously what my life has become. I DID NOT KNOW THE FIRST 9(ish) STEPS BEFORE A FEW WEEKS AGO. I cannot wait to forget this shit all over again. Just like all my highschoolers will. If they are our future then....... I will not finish that thought.
12. Time to finish my wine and go to bed.

Thank you for reading. I will get back here as soon as possible!

Camille